Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration, and at least I’m not getting Typhoid or Hepatitis A now but just let me have this, OK?
I had a little freak out with the Nurse, I explained about my phobia and she was really understanding and reassuring, she told me it was no worse than the HPV and suggested I look away and listen to my music, and after a glass of water and a talk about all of the vaccinations I was going to be having everything was all fine. She was about to give me a Hep B injection first and then my Typhoid but then suddenly stopped and told me they actually cost money (£75 dear god.) and she completely forgot to tell me. I won’t lie, I was completely relieved - Hep B would have been a course of 3 injections over 3 weeks and (I’d probably commit) instead of having 5, I’ve only had 2 now.
Once we’d gotten over that she gave me my Typhoid, telling me that I was lucky enough to get the last shot in the clinic and that everyone else would have to have tablets. I’d worked myself up a fair bit and was shaking but it wasn’t that bad, I didn’t pass out so that’s one up my Polio booster!
Next came the Hep A, and after a little break she told me it wasn’t as bad as the first one. She lied. The thing had DOUBLE the amount that was in the first one and stung like a motherbitch. She’s booked me to come back in 6 months to get my booster and I won’t have to have another one for 20 years though. UPSIDES!
Then we had a little chat about Malaria and told me that there’s very few cases in China, but to just keep my mosquito repellent on me, and told me something very interesting - did you know that mosquito repellent doesn’t actually repel, make you smell unpleasant or make you seem in any way unappetising to them. They make you invisible. As in the mosquito is flying along and doesn’t even know you’re there. Why can’t they make this for snakes or poisonous spiders or something similar!?
I have this handy little vaccine record card now as well, so I can keep note of what I have, what I’ll need and when I need them. It’s full of these little symbols as well, so if I go out shopping and the word for something completely slips out of my head then I’ll just whip this out and be a complete pro.
END OF MAMMOTH POST
